http://vermontloonwatch.wordpress.com/2008/11/17/enviro-police-news/ Poking irrational & emotional political posits with a sharp stick Wed, 07 Oct 2009 13:39:56 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 http://vermontloonwatch.wordpress.com/2008/11/17/enviro-police-news/#comment-64 Only in Vermont — New England Republican Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:46:46 +0000 http://vermontloonwatch.wordpress.com/?p=123#comment-64 [...] Enviro-Police News Middlebury (Enviro News) State Police adjudged the discovery of the body of a young male behind several recycling bins a homicide early Sunday morning. The cause of death appears to be asphyxiation due to a considerable wad of paper wedged in the victim’s airway according to the Senior Trooper at the scene. It appears that the male placed a minimum quantity of the same paper in the aluminum can bin, thus incensing one of the indigenous recyclers. No witnesses have yet come forward according to State Police spokesman Major Kollars. However, he did say the police might not have any jurisdiction since the deceased did commit a felonious conjoining of recyclable materials. Major Kollars said, “The only possible criminal act under Vermont statute was failure to properly recycle the victim. We’re looking into that in the sanitation statutes.” When reached the for comment, the Governor said, “I’ll look to get a bill introduced to amend this gross miscarriage of law.” The two Democrat Senators from Addison County said there is no reason for any new laws. “Such a heinous disregard of our recycling laws met with condign results, it seems.” Archived in: Satire [...] [...] Enviro-Police News Middlebury (Enviro News) State Police adjudged the discovery of the body of a young male behind several recycling bins a homicide early Sunday morning. The cause of death appears to be asphyxiation due to a considerable wad of paper wedged in the victim’s airway according to the Senior Trooper at the scene. It appears that the male placed a minimum quantity of the same paper in the aluminum can bin, thus incensing one of the indigenous recyclers. No witnesses have yet come forward according to State Police spokesman Major Kollars. However, he did say the police might not have any jurisdiction since the deceased did commit a felonious conjoining of recyclable materials. Major Kollars said, “The only possible criminal act under Vermont statute was failure to properly recycle the victim. We’re looking into that in the sanitation statutes.” When reached the for comment, the Governor said, “I’ll look to get a bill introduced to amend this gross miscarriage of law.” The two Democrat Senators from Addison County said there is no reason for any new laws. “Such a heinous disregard of our recycling laws met with condign results, it seems.” Archived in: Satire [...]

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