Hope n’ Change

2020 Visions

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Even though Donald Trump hasn’t even been inaugurated yet, Joe Biden has already stepped forward to offer himself as a possible opponent in the 2020 Presidential race. When asked by alleged reporters, the soon-to-be-former Veep declared “I am going to run for President in 2020. What the hell, man, anyway.

Granted, he hasn’t officially thrown his hat into the ring, but that’s because it’s his winter hat and he has problems unfastening the chin strap while wearing the mittens buttoned to his coat sleeves. And a friend of ours posited how much fun it would be if Joe had a match-up against General James Mattis, who could run as “Mad Dog 2020,” thus endearing himself to generations of partiers who have a history with fortified wine.

Biden would, of course, bring a lot to such a contest. For one thing, he’s a wacky old white guy with a disturbingly unnatural hairline, which was certainly popular in this election cycle. Additionally, he’s pretty much the last major Democrat standing; Bernie will be in a soundproofed socialist rest home within four years (perhaps sharing a room with Castro’s ashes), and in that same time frame we expect to find Hillary’s well-pickled liver floating in a glass jar at the Smithsonian.

Still, all of this is actually good news according to Democrats like Nancy Pelosi…

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The newly re-elected House Minority Leader and Botox spokesperson disagreed with reporters who found it odd that, in a time when voters clearly want change, Democratic House members decided to dust off an archeological relic like Nancy to guide them .

I don’t think people want a new direction,” Nancy said through clenched teeth while compulsively blinking her tarantula-leg eyelashes. Really? Democrats were swooning over Bernie Sanders and the country actually voted in Donald Trump because they wanted to “stay the course” set by Obama and Pelosi? Seriously, this woman is on some kind of world class drugs. Not that we’re ruling out simple dementia.

DEC 7th, 2016: ANOTHER DAY OF INFAMY

The few remaining survivors of that horrible day 75 years ago now have the odd distinction of being attacked twice at Pearl Harbor…once by the Japanese, and once by the Obama administration.

Yes, we understand the symbolic importance of showing Japan and the United States united on this historic anniversary – but it could so easily have been presented to the public without accusing those aging heroes who fought, bled, and saw their friends and shipmates blown to pieces, drowned, or burned alive of “personal bitterness” if they haven’t just “moved on” and made their peace with the horror of the sneak attack.

This appalling statement makes it clear that, in the mind of this administration, this anniversary is not about those who fought or died at Pearl Harbor, but rather about one more fatuous photo-op with a foreign figurehead for the sole benefit of the second greatest American tragedy to originate in Hawaii: Barack Hussein Obama.

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