Seniors: 2017 Resolutions and things

We seniors need to stick together over some of these things. If you find the guys in white coats and wagons coming to the front door, make sure you have a back door.

My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go in 2017.

Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. OK, cheese too. All right, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

How to prepare Tofu: Throw it in the trash. Grill some meat

I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 4 hours and 8 minutes. Do they really expect that little food to last 14 days?

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk nine feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented….unnh, where I was going with this.

I love being over 65. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

November 6, 2016 was the end of Daylight Savings Time. Hope you didn’t forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

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