In lieu of flowers, send angry tweets and unfriend people on Facebook.
The cartoon above, created decades ago by Stilton’s father, seems particularly apt at this volatile moment in time. On Friday, Donald Trump will be inaugurated as President of the United States with an historically low approval rating and rabid, foam-dribbling opposition from those on the Left.
Congressman John Lewis, among 40 or so other elected Democratic plantation owners, will be skipping the inauguration to protest John Podesta’s inability to understand that “password” is not a secure password. Entertainers are running for cover rather than have their names (and careers, if any) forever associated with the Inaugural festivities. New York mayor Bill de Blasio will even spend Inauguration Day taking part in a protest staged at Trump’s NY City International Hotel, linking arms with liberal chowderheads like Alec Baldwin and Michael “Are you going to finish that pie?” Moore.
And this is all before Trump’s first day in office.
In the past, Inauguration Day was a celebration of the American Way as much as the simple transfer of power to a new President. A time for people of all political persuasions to come together, however briefly, to give the new guy a chance. A honeymoon period which the Right has always granted the Left, even when unqualified radical community organizers with vaguely terrorist-sounding names are sworn into office solely on the basis of being “clean” and having perfectly creased pants.
But not this time. It seems there are indelible battle lines drawn already and the zeitgeist is about to hit the fan with a loud and foul-smelling splat.
On Friday, Hope n’ Change predicts we’ll see the official kick-off of a four year (at least) culture war unlike anything which has come before. A clash not predicated on policies or even reality, but rather on ideology and blind emotion. The coasts versus flyover country, and the over-educated versus the overlooked. We would metaphorically suggest that it will be like previous manifestations of the Left on meth, only we’re not at all sure that they weren’t already on meth.
Editorially speaking, this would be the perfect spot for us to insert solemn words intended to heal our national rifts and call for unity, tolerance, and mutual understanding. But, and we can’t emphasize this point strongly enough, screw that.
Whether they like it or not, it is these same strident Leftists who bear the responsibility for Donald Trump’s election. For that reason alone, they should try to just shut the hell up for a little while and reflect on the fact that the “monster” to which they so stridently object is of their own creation.
AND ONE MORE THING…
Tweets we wish were real.
BREAKING NEWS: CUTTING SENTENCES
We’ll admit we’re a little confused. Obama has recently been telling us that our entire system of democracy has been undermined by the theft of secrets which ended up on Wikileaks. Which is why it’s so puzzling that Barry has just commuted the 35-year espionage sentence of Private Bradley Manning (now “Chelsea Manning” through the politically popular miracle of gender reassignment) for the theft of secrets which ended up on Wikileaks.
Rather than struggle to ascertain the president’s baffling reasoning in making this anti-security decision, Hope n’ Change is instead going with Occam’s Razor: we think he did it because he’s an asshole.