50 Shades of Who Gives a Damn.
On the first full day of Donald Trump’s administration, millions of women gathered in cities around the world to deliver the message, powerfully and unequivocally, that we dodged a real bullet by not electing a vagina-owner as President.
Oh sure, that wasn’t the message they meant to send – but what the hell else is anyone (male or female) with more than a spoonful of brains supposed to think? The angry protesters donned “pussy hats” and vagina costumes to prove they’re not just sex objects and should be taken seriously. Which, frankly, we find hard to do when a glowering woman has turned her face into a clitoris.
Purportedly, the massive marches were about women finally and firmly demanding their rights, including non-discrimination, protection from sexual assault, equal pay for equal work, access to abortion on demand, the right to vote, the right to go to school, the right to sit in the front of the bus, and the right to be served at Woolworth’s lunch counters.
Of course, all of these things are already mandated by law, but attempts to inform the protesters of this were decried as blatantly sexist “man-splaining.” And the real point isn’t that women lack rights, but they feel like they lack rights…and feelings always outweigh facts among those high on estrogen.
Celebrity speakers were in abundance at the Washington march, with alleged-actress Ashley Judd proclaiming herself to be a “nasty girl” and babbling about Donald Trump’s wet dreams (honest), and Madonna following up on her previous promise to blow any man who voted for Hillary with a new admission that she wants to blow up the White House. A sentiment which drew a standing ovulation from the enthusiastic crowd.
Disclaimer time: Hope n’ Change supports equal rights for women without reservation. No woman should suffer from discrimination or actual sexual harassment. If a man “grabs her by the pussy” he should face criminal charges. If he talks about grabbing women by the pussy, even “just among the boys,” he should be considered an asshole and pariah.
These are serious matters which, unfortunately, have now been trivialized by activists who failed to elect their chosen candidate and are now having a huge public hissy fit simply because they can in a country which already affords them the freedom and rights to do so.
To those women who filled the streets, Hope n’ Change acknowledges that you have been heard.
But maybe next time, consider having something to say.
BONUS: SECRET CERVIX PROJECTION