Spring Forward, Fall To Pieces
We’ll apologize in advance if today’s commentary lacks our usual snap, crackle, and pop, but we’re suffering from a severe case of Daylight Saving Time-induced brain fog.
#BlackCoffeeMatters, but no amount of that precious, steaming, life-giving liquid is enough to repair the grievous damage inflicted on our internal biorhythms by a cruel and uncaring government.
Oh sure, some people (whom we might be married to) can laugh it off, but for many of us the struggle is real. Especially if different clocks in the house are showing pre-DST time, DST time, and (in the case of Mrs. J’s bedroom alarm) DST time plus 20 minutes because she likes it that way and has never learned anything from old Frankenstein movies that show the disastrous folly of toying with Nature.
(We pause briefly for a sip from our fifth cup of coffee, and to strike a stunned, unmoving pose like a dopey version of Rodin’s “The Thinker” while trying to remember where words come from, how to string them together, and…uh…what were we talking about?)
Research, which we’re too damn tired to look up or link to, shows that there may well be no benefit from Daylight Saving Time whatsoever: not for farmers, not for school kids, not for energy savings, or anything else. That same research shows that after any Daylight Saving Time clock change, there are more heart attacks, more car crashes, and marked increases in stress and depression.
Even worse, there’s a lot more drooling on desks, although researchers don’t like to talk about it.
Recovering from this debilitating “time flu” generally takes us about two weeks. We were going to say “give or take an hour,” only this is no laughing matter except to those who are, unforgivably, naturally perky.