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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

~ Groucho Marx

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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

~ Groucho Marx

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In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

~ Groucho Marx

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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

~ Groucho Marx

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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

~ Groucho Marx

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You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

~ Henny Youngman

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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

~ Henny Youngman