The Night of Narcissism

This has to be the prestigious night of the year, rivaled only by the Steamfitters Convention, held this year in Krenkheit, Kansas.

Yes, we’re talking about the Oscars. The one night of the year when most of the denizens of Hollyweord Hillstake a shower, search through the laundry hamper for the cleanest underwear and show up so that they may be seen. And hope to win something besides a sore ass from sitting through this balderdash.

This year they have a special category for off screen performance.

This will be the highlight of the evening.

Snickers & Snarks

A shmata is a dress that your husband’s ex is wearing.

Progressives: The new cannibals

The food police now have a new menu to check and enforce. Strange how this works out.

VA GOV Northam On Racist Yearbook Pic: I Did Blackface In The Past, But Not In This Photo

Well, that was certainly one a bizarre press conference yesterday. In the span of a day, Virginia’s Democratic Gov. Ralph Northam went from apologizing for being in a racist costume in a yearbook photo…to saying that wasn’t him in the photo, but he’s done blackface before’ he dressed up as Michael Jackson.

The defense is ‘Oh, so, I didn’t engage in blackface here, but there was another time that wasn’t pictured, so that means I can stay’ or something. Northam is adamant to not resign, saying it would be the easy way out in ducking his responsibilities, despite nearly the entirety of the liberal establishment calling on him to do so. The man ran as the anti-racist candidate for lack of a better term. And no, that doesn’t mean his Republican opponent, Ed Gillespie, was one during the 2017 gubernatorial race. The ads insinuating as much were a gross smear, but ironic in light of the recent yearbook revelation. A lot of tweets about and from Northam did not age well. [snip]

Wow, this certainly unrings the bell. We’re overjoyed that he wanted to clarify this minor miscue. Oo, bla di, Oo bla da. And life goes on.

Snickers & Snarks

Snickers & Snarks

At election time

 

they all come out of

 

the wood pile.

Snickers & Snarks

How often have you sat with your doctor and had him deliver all the same platitudes on your ill advised ways.
what would you say if he said stuff like this.

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans…

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Cretins, Morons and Dolts

When one is dealing with an ideology, any posit, argument, discussion or conversation will go nowhere. The mailer of bombs, the Synagogue shooter and any other assorted members of the Left do not believe in compromise unless you define that term as ‘I win, you lose and we’re doing it my way.

To punctuate that diatribe is:


A small caliber such as a .22 Hornet gives excellent responses.


One doesn’t need Round #2.
If you think this is gross, remember that they intend this for you.