Stilton’s Place

Stilton’s Place

Knife Guys Finish First

OJ Simpson will be a free man in October (he’ll be the big trick-or-treater in the Michael Myers mask) thanks to a parole board’s decision to let him out early for committing armed robbery because he had “no prior criminal convictions.”

Wow.

Of course, he did have a prior civil conviction, in which he was found to be responsible for brutally chopping up former wife Nicole Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman. But apparently the parole board didn’t consider that salient in making their determination that Simpson probably constitutes no threat to any member of the general public unless they piss OJ off.  [snip]

Stilton’s Place

Stilton’s Place

Back to Healthcare Reform School

If history repeats itself, we might as well do the same thing – which is why we’re recycling this cartoon and commentary from earlier this year (3/27/17)…

Now that healthcare reform reform has failed, two groups of people are celebrating. Those who love Obamacare the most, and those who hate Obamacare the most.

At this point, it’s moot to debate the relative virtues or failures of the proposed GOP bill, but we are going to take strong exception to the idea that if the healthcare system is allowed to completely collapse in the next few years (which Trump is enthusiastically tweeting as a “plan”), that America’s sick, dying, overcharged, and uninsured will blame the out-of-power Democrats for having created Obamacare, rather than the fat and happy Republican legislators who stood around this national bonfire roasting marshmallows and making s’mores.

Put another way, when our healthcare system fails the voters will not reward the party that did nothing (even if the reasons were good), but will instead flock to the party that promises a quick and all encompassing fix – namely, a single-payer “Medicare For All” plan.

That’s going to be the Democrats, which is hardly surprising: Obamacare was designed to fail after destroying the free market health insurance system, thereby leaving fully socialized medicine as the only viable alternative. And the Dems knew human nature well enough to understand that this would assure their party power.

Think we’re wrong? Just ask yourself – if you were the patient in the cartoon above, who would you blame? The former doctor who misdiagnosed you, or the current doctor who says he’ll watch you suffer and die because it’s the easiest way for him to remain blameless? [snip]

Stilton’s Place

Stilton’s Place

The Jarlsberg Diaries: Weekly World News

Today we’re introducing a new and totally unrequested feature called “The Jarlsberg Diaries,” in which we take you for an exciting (and true!) behind-the-scenes look into the colorful life of Stilton Jarlsberg. Fair warning: you may be seeing a lot of this feature in the near future if the stupid Trump/Russia story continues to top the (ahem) “news.” [snip]

Stilton’s Place

Stilton’s Place

Incredibility Gap

We’re not delving deeply into the latest developments of this cockeyed non-story, but we just thought it was worth mentioning that Natalia Veselnitskaya, the Russian attorney with whom Donald Trump Jr. briefly met, must have been living in a Siberian cave for the last couple of decades if she wasn’t able to offer up some plausible dirt on Hillary.

Seriously, if we’d met with Trump Jr, we could have talked for hours about Hillary’s myriad scandals and misdeeds. The fact that Veselnitskaya couldn’t and didn’t only lends additional credibility to the idea that she was more likely an operative representing Loretta Lynch and Barack Obama than Vladimir Putin.

BONUS: MIND IN THE GUTTER

First things first: we’re not making a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics. We have good friends who are participants and we’ve celebrated their impressive accomplishments.

We’re not even making a joke about Michelle Obama, who was at the Espy Awards presenting the Arthur Ashe Courage Award to the late Eunice Kennedy Shriver in honor of the work she did in founding the Special Olympics and working with those who have special needs. The former first lady did a fine job, and the cause was deserving.

What we are having a bit of trouble with is again associating the Obama name with the Special Olympics after Barack, that smug and smarmy SOB, once likened his bowling ability to that of Special Olympics participants as a cheap shot to get laughs.

Not a major story, certainly – but as we head into the weekend, isn’t it nice to appreciate the fact that neither Hillary nor Barry is in the White House these days?

Stilton’s Place

Stilton’s Place

Deliberate Pravda-cation

Don’t worry – even though Busty looks like a cuddlesome Cossack, she’s as patriotic as ever. And we think she may be on to something with this new look…

Clearly the Left is never going to let go of the assertion that Donald Trump somehow conspired with the evil Russians to steal the election from Saint Hillary. And it’s driving them crazy that they can’t prove it (and never will). But as the long as the idea upsets them so much, shouldn’t we all be doing our part to help feed their paranoia and frustration until it reaches the absolute breaking point?

If you’re a known Trump supporter being surveilled by your liberal friends and coworkers, this can be as easy as giving your wardrobe a Moscow makeover, riding to work bare-chested on a stallion, keeping a bottle of vodka on your desk, and wishing everyone a cheery “do svidanya” when leaving the room.

Look around suspiciously before using the copy machine. Frequently pretend to check your lamps, chairs, computers, and framed pictures for electronic bugs. When speaking on the phone, use “da” and “nyet” instead of “yes” and “no.” [snip]

Stilton’s Place

Stilton’s Place

Owl Be Back

Owing to a variety of circumstances there’s no substantive post today, but at least we’ve got a fresh Earwigs cartoon!

Stilton’s Place

Stilton’s Place

A Meme Thing To Do

That’s going to leave a mark.

Initially we hadn’t given much thought to the whole brouhaha in which Trump tweeted (sigh…) an animated GIF of him pretending to rough up someone with a CNN logo for a face. It was a dopey little animation which sort of made a humorous point, after which we could all just get on with our lives – right?

Wrong. The media and Internet went nuts (granted, this is a given these days), making an occurrence which had roughly the importance of a gnat’s fart into a bigger story than the lunatic leader of North Korea successfully test firing a nuke-capable ICBM missile.

CNN was especially culpable in blowing the loco logo story out of proportion. They claimed that the seconds-long clip was a call for violence against their esteemed journalistic team, and then tracked down the poor schmuck who’d originally created the animation and threatened to out his real identity (after labeling him a racist and anti-semite) so that the angry leftist mobs – you know, the ones who commit real acts of violence – could deal with him.

This is no small thing, as conservative cartoonist (and personal friend) Mike Lester points out…

The Right, of course, responded with a tidal wave of new memes (including our winged-hat tip to Thor and Hulk) in which CNN was humorously and entirely metaphorically getting the stew beaten out of them.

These weren’t “calls for violence,” but rather a perfect Free Speech counterattack in defense of a private citizen whose rights and safety were being threatened by a mega-media corporation that can’t take a joke – even though it is one.