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And you thought 2016 was a hoot

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Wednesday Wildcard

Gassing Game 1

With so much attention being paid to the presidential campaign circus, it’s easy – but dangerous – to forget how many genuinely awful things are going on in the world, unimpeded by the current president.

As a case in point, it has now been revealed that ISIS is using chemical weapons on our allies and has the capability of producing more. Chemical weapons, as you may recall, are generally considered to be in violation of Obama’s “red line” – if you use them anywhere in the world, he will come sweeping down on you with his mighty sword of vengeance.

Just kidding! He actually won’t do squat unless it’s an actual chemical attack on the United States which renders every golf course unplayable.

And speaking of good reasons to carry a set of clubs…

Doggy Style 1

Operating under what we assume is advice from Bill Clinton, Hillary is now campaigning doggy-style. No, really.

At a recent speech, she started barking like a dog to prove that Republicans are liars. No, we don’t get the connection, either – but then again, we haven’t had as many concussions or drunken blackouts as Mrs. Clinton.

BONUS: SOCIALISM MEDIA

Thanks to Bernie Sanders and rampant national ignorance, socialism is enjoying newfound popularity amongst those who can never imagine themselves working hard enough to pay taxes. And according to Bernie and alleged-filmmaker Michael Moore, life in socialist countries is pure paradise!

But here’s an interesting reality check from a (non-political) friend’s Facebook post:

Actual conversation today…
Us: “So how do you like living in Brussels?
Her: Well, you know, it’s a socialist country so they’re always on strike. The last time we flew in we couldn’t get home from the airport due to the transportation strike.
Us: Why are they striking?
Her: For higher wages; with the 40% tax it’s hard for people to make a living. A US couple started a coffee shop to create jobs helping women out of the sex trafficking industry, but the government requires all businesses for the first year to hire people released from prison. Yeah, and they’re just all very laid back. When we first moved there the movers tried 3 times to get my armoire up the stairs and then just said, ‘You’ll just have to find some other way, we can’t do it.’ Customer service is practically non-existent.”

This is the same Brussels, by the way, which just busted another terror cell of radical Islamists several days ago. Apparently socialism makes it easy for people to live comfortablywithout actually working, leaving more time for hobbies like waging jihad. [snip]

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