Holy Land Humor

Why not a different ‘Sunrise Service’ in the Holy Land.
Something that will actually bring peace to the land.

Coming to America

Obama Said, “You will come to Love Islam.”

Day by Day

We’re tagging this one under Islamic Humor!

File under Islamic Humor

If we dealt with miscreants in this country in this manner, we would have better mannered, individuals and a more civil society.
One can only hope that the bus driver punched his face down his throat hard enough to pop it out his ass.
The only action missing was throwing the a$$hole off the bus, face first on to the pavement. Some road-rash would have been the cherry on top.

The Politically Incorrect Way to Deal With Freeloading Bellicose “Refugees”

Maybe the Islamic world should have thought twice before including Sicily in its invasion of Europe:

A Muslim so-called “refugee” tried to get on an Italian bus for free, giving various sob stories to the driver.

When the Sicilian driver didn’t want to hear it and told him to go buy a ticket, the young Muslim erupted, yelling an expletive and punching the driver in the face.

It took no time at all for him to regret it.

Here is how the entitled Muslim learned that before boarding a bus it is best to buy a ticket, rather than expecting to ride for free (silent video):

Where is the Sicilian CLU to sue this bus driver?
Or will the legal system there throw this raghead into Etna.

International

In the Middle East, those with disabilities have the same needs as their western counterparts. For instance, the blind would want to be as mobile as anyone else.
In the case of Muslim women, special care has to be observed with the blind. This resolution presents itself as a satisfactory solution to a delicate problem.

Don’t you love it when an idea works out?

Mélange

Nothing like starting the New Year off weird. 2016 looks to be the exemplar for Obama and the Federal Reserve gift to economic theory.
In other occurrences, China puts the skids to the global markets, naked prosses chase gunmen, a man donates pork to a mosque and a guy in the UK with a bionic willy is going to get his cherry popped.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Yellen’s Job Puzzle: Why Are 20-Somethings Retiring?

How come more people are retiring in their early 20s? Why are middle-age men becoming stay-at-home dads? What’s keeping women out of the workforce other than illness, kids or school?
Those are some of the questions raised in a new Bureau of Labor Statistics report that shows changes over the past decade in why people stay out of the labor force. Finding answers is key for the Federal Reserve as it maps the contours of a job market that’s becoming harder to predict with the aging of the baby boomers and shifting household priorities.

Here’s what the bureau found, broadly: Thirty-five percent of the U.S. population wasn’t in the labor force in 2014, up from 31.3 percent a decade earlier. (You’re considered out of the workforce if you don’t have a job and aren’t looking for one. That’s distinct from the official unemployment rate, which tracks those out of work who are actively job hunting.) [snip]

“The labor-force participation rate is still below estimates of its demographic trend, involuntary part-time employment remains somewhat elevated, and wage growth has yet to show a sustained pickup,” she said.

Officials will get more information when the Labor Department releases December’s payroll report on Friday. Economists surveyed by Bloomberg News expect that employers added 200,000 last month, compared with 211,000 in November, while unemployment rate probably stayed at 5 percent.

The Fed is the problem. The very idea of a command economy has been disproved again and again. When the Government interferes with the markets, only bad things happen.

China’s Seven-Minute Selling Frenzy That Shook Global Markets

The sell orders piled up fast on Monday at Shenwan Hongyuan Group, China’s fifth-biggest brokerage by market value.

China’s CSI 300 Index had just tumbled 5 percent, triggering a 15-minute trading halt, and stock investors were scrambling to exit before getting locked in by a full-day suspension set to take effect at 7 percent. When the first halt was lifted, the market reaction was swift: it took just seven minutes for losses to reach the limit as volumes surged to their highs of the day.

“Investors rushed to the door during the level-one stage of the circuit breaker as they fretted the market would go down further,” said William Wong, the head of sales trading at Shenwan Hongyuan in Hong Kong.[snip]

With this, the S&P, NASDAQ and the DOW all opened DOW sharply.

Naked prostitutes chase gunmen through hotel after they posed as clients and robbed them while they were stripped off

Two prostitutes were forced to run through a hotel naked as they tried to catch gunmen who robbed them while they stripped off.

The pair were at the Atlanta Marriott Buckhead Hotel and Conference Center in Georgia on Saturday, thinking they were being paid a visit by a perspective client.

The man entered the room and, after the group had discussed prices for around 10 minutes, a second suspect barged in with his weapon drawn.

Officer Kim Jones told the Atlanta Constitution Journal: ‘One suspect would point the gun at the victims while the other went through the victims’ property.’

The two men took $3,000 from one woman and $640 from the other before leaving the room. The women ran after the suspects while naked, but stopped when the men ran down the stairs.

Another guest called 911 after seeing the nude women in the corridor. [snip]

Kind of hard for these women to conceal a self-defense weapon when they’re revealing everything else.

Machete-wielding man vandalizes mosque, leaves bacon at door

A man with a machete vandalized a Brevard County mosque and left pork at the front door of the building, according to police.

The Islamic Society of Central Florida’s Masjid Al-Munin at 1011 South Washington Avenue in Titusville was vandalized Friday night, police said. [snip]

Probably one of those Sunni Shi’ite dust ups. there’s a bit of animosity twixt the sects.

Willy do it? Man with bionic penis to finally lose his virginity at 43

A MAN fitted with a bionic penis after his was ripped off in a childhood accident is poised to lose his virginity at the age of 43.

Mohammed Abad will pop his cherry in the next few days with sex worker Charlotte Rose after a dinner date.

Mo, who lost his penis when he was six in a car accident, said: “I have waited long enough for this — it’ll be a great start to the new year. My penis is working perfectly now so I just want to do it. I’m really excited. I can’t wait for it to finally happen.”

Mo first had surgery to fit the eight-inch bionic penis in 2012, but it has only been fully functional for a few months.

It has two tubes running along its length which inflate when he presses a button on his testicle.

Charlotte, 35, will not be charging Mo when they meet up in London. [snip]

Oh the wonder of it all. Five minutes of joy (if he lasts that long) and he’ll be in the pubs boring the hell out of the sods with his claim to fame.

Day by Day

Laissez le bon temps rouler

With Political Correctness destroying everything, some politically incorrect humor is needed to disrupt the lives of the idiots ruining society.

A young Muslim child starts school in Ireland

Seven year old Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school.

“What’s your name?”, asked the teacher.

“Mohammad,” he replied.

“You’re in Ireland now,” replied the teacher, “So from now on you will be known as Mike.”

Mohammad returned home after school.

“How was your day, Mohammad?”, his mother asked.

“My name is not Mohammad. I’m in Ireland and now my name is Mike.”

“Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!”

And his mother beat the shit out of him.

Then she called his father, who beat the shit out of him again.

The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his fresh bruises.

“What happened to you, Mike?”, she asked.

“Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two fucking Muslims.”

Toon in

A Muslim conundrum