The Millennials



Jewish Humor

Jonathan is talking to his friend Joshua.
“I hear that you’ve just bought your very first computer, Joshua. How are you getting on with it? Have you tried out Google yet?”

“I don’t need to use Google,” replies Joshua.

“Really?” says Jonathan. “So why is that?”

“Because my wife Rachel knows everything,” replies Joshua.

Jewish Humor

Some Phyllis Diller Quotes:

  • Whatever you may look like, try to marry a man your own age because as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
  • Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
  • The reason why most women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never want to wear the same outfit in public.
  • The best way to get rid of kitchen odors is to eat out.
  • A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
  • I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford, then I want to move in with them.
  • Most children threaten at times to run away from home. But fortunately this is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
  • We spend the first 12 months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
  • Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
  • My photographs don’t do me justice – they just look like me.
  • I admit that I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives 40 miles away.
  • Tranquilizers only work if you follow the advice on the bottle – Keep away from children.
  • The reason why the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can’t see him laughing.



Since Progs lost,


Watermelons confused.

This writer of this article is Michael Bielawski.His work may be found at:

Environmentalists introduce bill to block public from using pond

A bill introduced in the Vermont House aims to ban public access to Berlin Pond, reigniting the debate over water safety versus hunting, fishing and canoeing.

The pond, which serves as the primary source of Montpelier’s drinking water, has been the focus of public debate since a 2012 Vermont Supreme Court ruling ended more than a century of prohibited public access.

H.6 aims to delegate regulatory power over the pond to city representatives. Current draft language proposes amending the city charter “to allow to allow the city to regulate its public water supply and public water sources, which includes Berlin Pond.”

Lead sponsor of the bill, state Rep. Warren Kitzmiller, D-Montpelier, says he’s just trying to protect the quality of drinking water. [snip]

“When the city of Montpelier tries to regulate a body of water that is not even in Montpelier, which is also in violation of the Vermont Constitution, there’s something wrong,” Eddie Cutler, vice president of Gun Owners of Vermont, told Watchdog.

Cutler also said a ban on public use would violate the state’s Sportsmen’s Bill of Rights. [snip]

Watermelons. True Marxists, who want to dictate the how, where and when of whatever you do.
Want to hunt? Oh no, we can’t allow that. It disturbs our young blossoms. Fish? No! Fish isn’t for your consumption and why are not you eating tofu anyway.
Don’t talk about catch and release. That just tortures the fish. In addition, it causes untold pain to all our wonderful but tender snowflakes.

What is most humorous about this clangor over clean water is the proximity of the watering hole to Rte I-89. One session with Vermont’s winter roads and your vehicle should convince you that the Berlin Pond has a fine chance of being salt water with a flavoring of tire dust, oils, rust particles and smattering of paint chips from a variety of bumps, metal bruises and spectacular collisions. But the Eco-nazis are worried that you might leave a swivel or 3’of fishing line.
And if someone should discharge a shotgun at a duck or partridge, some flit in Burlington will pollute his knickers. That is the agenda!

Toon in



Toon in



Jewish Humor

A group of seniors were sitting around at the Coffee Shop talking about all their ailments.

“My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one.

“Yes, I know,” said another. “My cataracts are so bad, I can’t even see my coffee.”

“I couldn’t even mark an “X” at election time because my hands are so crippled,” volunteered a third.

“What? Speak up! What? I can’t hear you,” said an elderly lady.

“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said one, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

“My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!” exclaimed another.

“I forget where I am, and where I’m going,” said another.

“I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

The others nodded in agreement.

“Well, count your blessings,” said a woman cheerfully. “Thank God we can all still drive.”