Stilton’s Place

Stilton’s Place

And Now, On With The Show!

fascists-lefty-lucy-1Funny, we thought your generation knew ALL the four letter words…

Well, that didn’t take long, did it? Only one month after wrapping up Hope n’ Change, here I am with a brand new (yet hauntingly familiar) blog! Which may raise some questions on your part, like…

“What the heck made you change your mind about doing a blog again?”

Several things. First and foremost, it turns out that I really missed being in touch with the great HnC community. I was made keenly aware of this fact when I decided to purge the various lifelong friends on Facebook who, post-election, were declaring me and my ilk (note: you are that ilk) to be fascists, racists, pussy-grabbers, and haters. After which I had nobody left to talk to online, which was relaxing but boring.

“Why not just continue doing Hope n’ Change Cartoons?”

We are now living in a very different political world and it just didn’t feel right. Hope n’ Change had a specific mission, which was to see Barack Obama removed from office (and simultaneously point out the myriad foibles and failings of those on the Left). Mission accomplished – albeit the hard way.

The dynamic now is very different. Donald Trump is Presidenting like he has a roman candle shooting out of his rear end, which is sometimes good, sometimes bad, and always (gulp) exciting. Meanwhile, those on the Left have upped their game from “insane” to “criminally insane,” having conniption fits over the slightest of upsets and calling for the blood of conservatives to flow in the streets. Yikes!

It’s an uglier and more intense battlefield than it was before, and frankly I’ve reached an age where I don’t need the stress of swinging that vorpal sword three times a week.

“But Stilton – you look so young, vigorous, and handsome! And you’ve lost some weight, right?”

Yes, a little – thank you for noticing. But as I was saying, I just wasn’t in the mood to get back into obsessing over the news and doing 3 cartoons and full-length commentaries every week for another run of 4 to 8 years. And various HnC stalwarts have told me that they’d still like to hang out, but would also like an occasional break from politics.

Ergo – Stilton’s Place. I’ll post something every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. A cartoon, a graphic, an editorial, or whatever else strikes my fancy (I really should protect my fancy by wearing a cup). The subject may be politics, entertainment, venting about home repairs, doctor visits, or arguing that The Kid from Borneo was the best ever episode of The Little Rascals (fact). Or maybe I’ll just declare it to be an “open microphone” day with YOU supplying the topics in the comments area!

“Is it still confusing how we REACH the darn comments area?”

Think of it as the intellectual equivalent of Trump’s border wall, intended to keep out riff-raff, rapists, and ruffians.

To comment, you just need to click on the title above the day’s post (in this case: “And Now, On With The Show”) or click on the number of comments shown at the bottom of the post. That will take you to a fresh page where you can frolic, gambol, and commune with old friends from HnC and hopefully new friends who are looking for an online oasis of erudition, goodwill, and general wise-assery.

“Will you occasionally create new political cartoons under the Hope n’ Change banner?”

Why, yes! How insightful of you to ask…!

deporting-news-clown-1Sadly, someone already beat me to declaring CNN to be the Clown News Network.

Such cartoons will be posted here and (probably) on Facebook. They will not be published at the old HnC site, which is going to be preserved as a standalone archive: my very own version of the Barry Soetoro Presidential Library and Progressive Holocaust Museum. 

“Is this new site entirely finished and running like a Swiss watch?”

No. I’ll be tweaking the look and function for awhile (with your help). But I didn’t want “perfect to be the enemy of the good” (especially since I find web design baffling) and so opted to get this site running as soon as possible.

“So…is it good to be back?”

Yes. Very good. And it’s good to have you back, too – I’ll see you in the comments section!

Hi de ho – Hi de us (hideous)

In this world, there are some (more now than ever) individuals whose cerebral cortex has been devolving over the past half century. And scientists that labor under a Dr. Moreau influence to create a chimera.
The worst part is they might succeed, giving us an underworld of C.H.U.D. critters living in the warrens of major cities, gorging themselves on…you. But the man with the title Dr. Evil is ahead of them for now. And is sex alteration not the same thing?

A resident of Morton Road, Bushbury, somewhere in England has been arrested. For what, this:

‘Dr Evil’ tattoo artist accused of removing customer’s ear, splitting client’s tongue and slicing off someone’s nipple

The 47-year-old emporium owner faces three counts of causing grievous bodily harm over a period of three years

The owner of ‘Dr Evils Body Modification Emporium’ has appeared in court today accused of mutilating his clients.

Brendan McCarthy or self proclaimed ‘Mac ‘Dr Evil’ McCarthy’ faces three counts of causing serious injury relating to consensual piercing and body modifying at his shop in Wolverhampton, West Midlands.

The charges relate to the removal of a client’s ear, removal of a client’s nipple and tongue splitting procedures.

McCarthy of Morton Road, Bushbury, appeared before magistrates in Walsall only to confirm his name, age and address.

The 47-year-old , whose salon is also known as ‘Punctured Body Piercing & Modification’ ,faces three counts of causing grievous bodily harm with intent and three alternative counts of wounding without intent.
hellraiserThe alleged offences are said to have taken place between August 2012 and July 2015.

The business owner is due to return to Wolverhampton Crown Court on March 3.

So we have here someone who mutilates people with a mental disorder in exchange for payment. Can’t have that says the court. A reasonable ruling too, is it not?

Is it not then reasonable to lock up doctors that mutilate the genitals young children that have been told they’re born with the wrong DNA? There isn’t any means of correcting that surgery. You get you plumbing changed, your DNA isn’t altered.
Since that is the case, you have just been mutilated.

Day by Day

012617-2

Jewish Humor

Moshe, a travel agent, looks up from his desk and sees an old lady and an old gentleman peering into his shop window at the posters showing glamorous destinations around the world. Moshe has had a very good week and the two sad people outside his window give him a rare feeling of generosity.

He calls them into his shop and says to them, “I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won’t take no for an answer.”

He takes them to his desk and tells his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They gladly accept and within days are on their way.

About a month later the little old lady comes into Moshe’s shop.

“So nu? How did you like your holiday?” Moshe asks her eagerly.

“The flight was exciting and the room was lovely,” the old lady replies. “I’ve come to thank you. But one thing puzzles me.
Who was that alte kacker I had to share the room with?”

Jewish Humor

David’s watch is not working and he remembers seeing a little shop with clocks and watches in the window. So he goes to the shop to get his watch fixed.

“Can I help you?” asks Joseph, the owner.

“I would like my watch repaired,” replies David.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t repair watches,” says Joseph.

“Well, how much for a new watch then?” asks David.

“I don’t sell watches either,” replies Joseph.

“You don’t sell watches?” asks David in astonishment.

“No, I don’t sell watches,” replies Joseph.

“Clocks, you sell clocks don’t you?” asks David.

“No, I don’t sell clocks,” replies Joseph.

David is getting exasperated and says to Joseph, “You don’t repair watches and you don’t sell clocks or watches. So what do you do then?”

“I’m a mohel,” replies Joseph.

“Then why do you have all those clocks and watches in your window?” asks David.

“If you were a mohel,” replies Joseph, “so tell me. What would you put in your window?”

mohel: the religious man who performs ritual circumcisions according to rabbinic regulations and customs

Ponder this

I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.

~ Andy Rooney

The Millennials

Sooner of later, a massive case of envy was going to erupt among the swells as they found they liked wearing their sister’s eye shadow and liner. Oh dear, the sweetness is just overpowering!

Maybelline Debuts Its First-Ever Male Ambassador, Manny Gutierrez

gackBack in October, Covergirl welcomed James Charles, makeup artist and social media star, as its first-ever male face. Now, Maybelline has followed suit by signing on another one of the wildly popular “beauty boys” of the vlogger world: Manny Gutierrez, aka @mannymua733.

Gutierrez boasts three million followers on Instagram. He posts tutorials on Youtube, where two million people have subscribed to his channel (and given him 91 million views) since he started in July 2014.

The makeup artist stars in Maybelline’s “That Boss Life” campaign promoting Big Shot Mascara alongside fellow Insta-famous beauty blogger Shayla Mitchell (aka @makeupshayla) and sweepstakes winner Jackie Flowers. [snip]

Hey, guys, bring him home to meet tour parents? Why he might give your good old Pop some ideas for suiting up for that next meeting with your parole officer.