Those that believe in immortality

Someone must have bought this trampoline at the Immortality Store. It has to come with a stupidity shield as well as the automatic death protection. Otherwise who would buy this but a Millennial.

Would you care to try it?

Day by Day

Day by Day

Stilton’s Place

Stilton’s Place

Spring Forward, Fall To Pieces

We’ll apologize in advance if today’s commentary lacks our usual snap, crackle, and pop, but we’re suffering from a severe case of Daylight Saving Time-induced brain fog.

#BlackCoffeeMatters, but no amount of that precious, steaming, life-giving liquid is enough to repair the grievous damage inflicted on our internal biorhythms by a cruel and uncaring government.

Oh sure, some people (whom we might be married to) can laugh it off, but for many of us the struggle is real. Especially if different clocks in the house are showing pre-DST time, DST time, and (in the case of Mrs. J’s bedroom alarm) DST time plus 20 minutes because she likes it that way and has never learned anything from old Frankenstein movies that show the disastrous folly of toying with Nature.

(We pause briefly for a sip from our fifth cup of coffee, and to strike a stunned, unmoving pose like a dopey version of Rodin’s “The Thinker” while trying to remember where words come from, how to string them together, and…uh…what were we talking about?)

Research, which we’re too damn tired to look up or link to, shows that there may well be no benefit from Daylight Saving Time whatsoever: not for farmers, not for school kids, not for energy savings, or anything else. That same research shows that after any Daylight Saving Time clock change, there are more heart attacks, more car crashes, and marked increases in stress and depression.

Even worse, there’s a lot more drooling on desks, although researchers don’t like to talk about it.

Recovering from this debilitating “time flu” generally takes us about two weeks. We were going to say “give or take an hour,” only this is no laughing matter except to those who are, unforgivably, naturally perky.

On the plus side, where we’re going the coffee will stay hot.

Toon in

hillary

hillary-also

funny

Stilton’s Place

Stilton’s Place

And Now, On With The Show!

fascists-lefty-lucy-1Funny, we thought your generation knew ALL the four letter words…

Well, that didn’t take long, did it? Only one month after wrapping up Hope n’ Change, here I am with a brand new (yet hauntingly familiar) blog! Which may raise some questions on your part, like…

“What the heck made you change your mind about doing a blog again?”

Several things. First and foremost, it turns out that I really missed being in touch with the great HnC community. I was made keenly aware of this fact when I decided to purge the various lifelong friends on Facebook who, post-election, were declaring me and my ilk (note: you are that ilk) to be fascists, racists, pussy-grabbers, and haters. After which I had nobody left to talk to online, which was relaxing but boring.

“Why not just continue doing Hope n’ Change Cartoons?”

We are now living in a very different political world and it just didn’t feel right. Hope n’ Change had a specific mission, which was to see Barack Obama removed from office (and simultaneously point out the myriad foibles and failings of those on the Left). Mission accomplished – albeit the hard way.

The dynamic now is very different. Donald Trump is Presidenting like he has a roman candle shooting out of his rear end, which is sometimes good, sometimes bad, and always (gulp) exciting. Meanwhile, those on the Left have upped their game from “insane” to “criminally insane,” having conniption fits over the slightest of upsets and calling for the blood of conservatives to flow in the streets. Yikes!

It’s an uglier and more intense battlefield than it was before, and frankly I’ve reached an age where I don’t need the stress of swinging that vorpal sword three times a week.

“But Stilton – you look so young, vigorous, and handsome! And you’ve lost some weight, right?”

Yes, a little – thank you for noticing. But as I was saying, I just wasn’t in the mood to get back into obsessing over the news and doing 3 cartoons and full-length commentaries every week for another run of 4 to 8 years. And various HnC stalwarts have told me that they’d still like to hang out, but would also like an occasional break from politics.

Ergo – Stilton’s Place. I’ll post something every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. A cartoon, a graphic, an editorial, or whatever else strikes my fancy (I really should protect my fancy by wearing a cup). The subject may be politics, entertainment, venting about home repairs, doctor visits, or arguing that The Kid from Borneo was the best ever episode of The Little Rascals (fact). Or maybe I’ll just declare it to be an “open microphone” day with YOU supplying the topics in the comments area!

“Is it still confusing how we REACH the darn comments area?”

Think of it as the intellectual equivalent of Trump’s border wall, intended to keep out riff-raff, rapists, and ruffians.

To comment, you just need to click on the title above the day’s post (in this case: “And Now, On With The Show”) or click on the number of comments shown at the bottom of the post. That will take you to a fresh page where you can frolic, gambol, and commune with old friends from HnC and hopefully new friends who are looking for an online oasis of erudition, goodwill, and general wise-assery.

“Will you occasionally create new political cartoons under the Hope n’ Change banner?”

Why, yes! How insightful of you to ask…!

deporting-news-clown-1Sadly, someone already beat me to declaring CNN to be the Clown News Network.

Such cartoons will be posted here and (probably) on Facebook. They will not be published at the old HnC site, which is going to be preserved as a standalone archive: my very own version of the Barry Soetoro Presidential Library and Progressive Holocaust Museum. 

“Is this new site entirely finished and running like a Swiss watch?”

No. I’ll be tweaking the look and function for awhile (with your help). But I didn’t want “perfect to be the enemy of the good” (especially since I find web design baffling) and so opted to get this site running as soon as possible.

“So…is it good to be back?”

Yes. Very good. And it’s good to have you back, too – I’ll see you in the comments section!

Hi de ho – Hi de us (hideous)

In this world, there are some (more now than ever) individuals whose cerebral cortex has been devolving over the past half century. And scientists that labor under a Dr. Moreau influence to create a chimera.
The worst part is they might succeed, giving us an underworld of C.H.U.D. critters living in the warrens of major cities, gorging themselves on…you. But the man with the title Dr. Evil is ahead of them for now. And is sex alteration not the same thing?

A resident of Morton Road, Bushbury, somewhere in England has been arrested. For what, this:

‘Dr Evil’ tattoo artist accused of removing customer’s ear, splitting client’s tongue and slicing off someone’s nipple

The 47-year-old emporium owner faces three counts of causing grievous bodily harm over a period of three years

The owner of ‘Dr Evils Body Modification Emporium’ has appeared in court today accused of mutilating his clients.

Brendan McCarthy or self proclaimed ‘Mac ‘Dr Evil’ McCarthy’ faces three counts of causing serious injury relating to consensual piercing and body modifying at his shop in Wolverhampton, West Midlands.

The charges relate to the removal of a client’s ear, removal of a client’s nipple and tongue splitting procedures.

McCarthy of Morton Road, Bushbury, appeared before magistrates in Walsall only to confirm his name, age and address.

The 47-year-old , whose salon is also known as ‘Punctured Body Piercing & Modification’ ,faces three counts of causing grievous bodily harm with intent and three alternative counts of wounding without intent.
hellraiserThe alleged offences are said to have taken place between August 2012 and July 2015.

The business owner is due to return to Wolverhampton Crown Court on March 3.

So we have here someone who mutilates people with a mental disorder in exchange for payment. Can’t have that says the court. A reasonable ruling too, is it not?

Is it not then reasonable to lock up doctors that mutilate the genitals young children that have been told they’re born with the wrong DNA? There isn’t any means of correcting that surgery. You get you plumbing changed, your DNA isn’t altered.
Since that is the case, you have just been mutilated.