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Stilton’s Place

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Over the Counter Medical advice

COSTCO DOCTOR:

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, John says to Scott, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Scott replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Costco Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So, John deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: “You have tennis elbow Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

Thank you for shopping at Costco.”

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, John began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

John hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

  1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. ( Aisle 9)
  2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. ( Aisle 7 )
  3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
  4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
  5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Costco!

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Mélange

A short compilation of the Left’s reaction to the Mueller report.

This is what should be the punctuation to the waste of time and money.

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