Signs mean something

This is in German. The sign says do NOT get on the water bed. What a better invitation. And of course a generous helping of schadenfreude.

Hope n’ Change

The Queef Heard Round The World

queef-heard-round-the-world-150 Shades of Who Gives a Damn.

On the first full day of Donald Trump’s administration, millions of women gathered in cities around the world to deliver the message, powerfully and unequivocally, that we dodged a real bullet by not electing a vagina-owner as President.

Oh sure, that wasn’t the message they meant to send – but what the hell else is anyone (male or female) with more than a spoonful of brains supposed to think? The angry protesters donned “pussy hats” and vagina costumes to prove they’re not just sex objects and should be taken seriously.  Which, frankly, we find hard to do when a glowering woman has turned her face into a clitoris.

Purportedly, the massive marches were about women finally and firmly demanding their rights, including non-discrimination, protection from sexual assault, equal pay for equal work, access to abortion on demand, the right to vote, the right to go to school, the right to sit in the front of the bus, and the right to be served at Woolworth’s lunch counters.

Of course, all of these things are already mandated by law, but attempts to inform the protesters of this were decried as blatantly sexist “man-splaining.” And the real point isn’t that women lack rights, but they feel like they lack rights…and feelings always outweigh facts among those high on estrogen.

Celebrity speakers were in abundance at the Washington march, with alleged-actress Ashley Judd proclaiming herself to be a “nasty girl” and babbling about Donald Trump’s wet dreams (honest), and Madonna following up on her previous promise to blow any man who voted for Hillary with a new admission that she wants to blow up the White House.  A sentiment which drew a standing ovulation from the enthusiastic crowd.

Disclaimer time: Hope n’ Change supports equal rights for women without reservation. No woman should suffer from discrimination or actual sexual harassment. If a man “grabs her by the pussy” he should face criminal charges. If he talks about grabbing women by the pussy, even “just among the boys,” he should be considered an asshole and pariah.

These are serious matters which, unfortunately, have now been trivialized by activists who failed to elect their chosen candidate and are now having a huge public hissy fit simply because they can in a country which already affords them the freedom and rights to do so.

To those women who filled the streets, Hope n’ Change acknowledges that you have been heard.

But maybe next time, consider having something to say.

BONUS: SECRET CERVIX PROJECTION

secret-cervix-projection-copy-1He may have something there.

Hope n’ Change

A Barry Special Day

drinking-buddies

Hope n’ Change can’t blame our coffee drinking friends for indulging in a bit of nostalgia on this very special day – something we’ll be doing more of here next week as we tie up loose ends.

But today is about celebration. Celebrating the inauguration of a new President, who brings promise of a more hopeful (albeit no less colorful) future. Celebrating what is almost certainly the worst day of Hillary Clinton’s life…which we hope will translate into many godawful days for Bill Clinton during his remaining STD-ridden years.

But mostly we’re celebrating the fact that Barack Hussein Obama (aka Barry Soetoro) is no longer president, agitator-in-chief, and most prolific and profligate vacation-taker in the world. He has been an almost unendurable blight and curse on our nation, and will no doubt continue to be – albeit (finally!) as a private citizen.

We’ll have a lot more to say next Monday after we’ve had a chance to reflect on this incredible and long-awaited day. But for now, we’d like to express our sentiments in a way that words simply can’t handle. Which is why Hope n’ Change is proud to present…

VIDEO: THE OBAMA LEGACY DISPOSAL TEAM

Best wishes, hugs, and hearty handshakes to all Hope n’ Change readers on this glorious occasion – and please join us in drinking a toast to a new day of real hope for change!

Jewish Humor

17 year old David has just got his driver’s license and asks his father Harry when he can start to drive the family car.

Harry tells David that he will make a deal with him. “OK David,” he says, “before I let you loose on the car, I want you to do three things. I want you to bring your grades up from an average of C to an average of B; I want you to study the Bible more often; and I want you to get your hair cut. Only then will I talk about your use of the family car.”

David thinks about what his father has just told him and quickly decides that he will accept the offer. So they shake on it.

Six weeks later, Harry says to David, “I’m very pleased to learn that not only have you brought your grades up, but also that you’ve been studying the Bible. But I’m disappointed that you haven’t bothered to get your hair cut.”

“I know, Dad,” says David. “I’ve been thinking about that. But I’ve noticed in my Bible studies that both Samson and Moses had long hair.”

“But did you also notice,” asks Harry, “that all of them walked everywhere they went?”

Observations

How does that saying go? Oh yeah, Paybacks are a bitch!

Fox News’ Cavuto to CNN: How Does It Feel To Be Dismissed And Ignored? (Now, You’re The Ones Royally…Foxed)

President-elect Donald Trump shut down CNN’s Jim Acosta at his much-anticipated news conference on January 11. Trump slammed the news organization for being terrible.

You are fake news,” Trump said to Acosta after the reporter kept on interrupting the president-elect for a question following the remark.

“Mr. President-elect, that is not appropriate,” said Acosta.

Well, after eight years of Fox News bashing from the Left and the Obama White House, the tables have turned—and host Neil Cavuto seems to be enjoying CNN feeling the cold shoulder from the incoming Trump White House:

“What is it like not to be liked?” Cavuto said of CNN. “Not really fun, is it?” he added. He then says how CNN just can’t stand not being with the in-crowd anymore, while adding that it isn’t fun having their credibility challenged, or having the guy [the president] you’re covering thinking you’re the “piece of work.

Cavuto continued, saying, “it bugs you when someone questions whether you’re fair, doesn’t it? Or cuts you to your journalistic core, doesn’t it. It matters now when it’s about you, doesn’t it?” [snip]

You’re experiencing what we have been living. Now, you’re the ones royally…Foxed. And the irony is I feel your pain. You never came to our defense, so allow me to e come to yours: you’re better than Buzzfeed. But the buzz is that you’re getting fed to the wolves. Isn’t it obnoxious and unfair how some celebrate your plight, kind of feels like the way you celebrate ours, doesn’t it? They say payback is a bitch. If only you would take a moment to rewind the tape and see the shoe is on the other foot, or am I confusing it with the one now kicking you in the ass? You see it’s hard to tell from where I sit. Back then, your silence was deafening. Very different now, isn’t it? And I suspect, just suspect, now much fun, is it?

CNN is a major news organization that we often cite them on posts. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean we can’t call them out when they’re part of what’s becoming a shoddy news story regarding memos compiled by a former British intelligence operative that reportedly shows the Russians have compromising information on Trump, including salacious details of aberrant sex acts. CNN didn’t publish the memos because they cannot be verified; Buzzfeed didn’t care. They posted them in full and with little to no redactions. As for the operative, now identified as Christopher Steele, he’s disappeared, with eyewitness accounts from his neighbors saying “he hurriedly left his home in Surrey,” which is near London. Members of the news media and the political class, specifically Sen. John McCain who gave additional memos to the FBI (the Bureau already had some on file), have known about this information for months. [snip]

If you missed this little bit of contention at Trump’s presser, you missed a great show. CNN got an ass kicking and the press found out that their day of leading a dog and pony show for public consumption are over.

Toon in

nip

butt-kicking

Jewish Humor

Benny and his friend Louis are going skiing. They load up Benny’s car and head north. After driving for a few hours, they get caught in a terrible snow storm. They pull into a nearby farm and ask the attractive lady who answers the door if they could spend the night there.

“I realise it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself,” she explains. “But I’m recently widowed and I’m afraid my neighbours will talk if I let you two stay in my house.”

“Don’t worry,” says Benny. “We’ll be happy to sleep in your barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.”

The lady agrees and Benny and Louis find their way to the barn and settle in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, so they go on their way and enjoy a great weekend of skiing.

But nine months later, Benny gets a letter from a lawyer. It takes him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally realises that it’s from the lawyer of the attractive widow he and Louis had met on the ski weekend. So he phones Louis and asks, “Louis, do you remember that good looking widow at the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about 9 months ago?”

“Yes, I do.” replies Louis.

“And did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, leave the barn, and go up to her house to pay her a visit?” asks Benny.

“Well, um, yes,” Louis replies, a little embarrassed about being found out. “I have to admit that I did.”

“And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her yours?” asks Benny.

“I’m sorry Benny,” replies Louis, “I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask?”

“Because she’s just died,” replies Benny, “and she’s left everything to me.”