Jewish Humor

Sidney Jacobs just turned 87 and like most alte kackers, is hard of hearing and his other half had enough.

“Sidney!” said Sarah, “YOU, are going to see doctor Krenkeit. With that she made an appointment for the next day.

Sarah drove him there making sure he was on time and actually went.

The Doc and his nurse gather up Sid taking him to the exam room with Sarah reminding them that Sid was damn near deaf and needed hearing aids.

After checking old Sid over, Doc said, “Sid I want to listen to you breathe and your heart.

Sid nodded took a deep breath and ripped one that caused the nurse to gag and Doc’s eyes to water, causing the Doc to drop his stethoscope and grab a handful of tissues.

Finally, the Doc managed get some air, said to Sid, “Wonderful, that works, now can I listen to your HEART!

Observations

Sometimes there is news published that when read makes one believe justice still resides in this world. There was, the past tense is correct, a self-hating white person of such loathing, that he did write for the Southern Poverty Law Center disparaging any white group of a conservative flavor calling them racists and bigots.

David Ruenzel possessor of the ultimate Liberal credentials found they were worthless against a couple of black thugs who snuffed his white ass while hiking in the Huckleberry Botanic Regional Preserve. The locals shun the place as a known smash and grab zone.

His obit either starts or ends with shrieking laughter. In the middle there will be something about some dumb ass honkie who thought he could get down with the brothers. Really!

the Southern Poverty Law Center is, if not the biggest racist group, then one of the biggest racist outfits attacking anything white that isn’t Red.
There aren’t many things in this world that are truly condign; this is one.

Lets give the black thugs the Nobel Prize for World Tidiness.

Day by Day

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Toon in

Bus view

Enlightenment

Enough time has passed to reflect on the occurrences that took place in Ferguson. In keeping with the Politically correct version of events we have duly noted that the undocumented shoppers were selective in their acquisitions.

Of the many retail emporia visited, we noted that stores specializing in resume’ kits, suits and ties, Father’s day cards, pens, pencils, work gloves, bibbed overalls and work boots were not selected by these discriminating shoppers.

How does one explain that?

Irish Humor

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box then shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, “You were drunk again last night weren’t you?”

Flynn said, “Why you say such a mean thing?”

“ Well,” Mary said, “it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly…it’s all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

Day by Day

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